Next Game:

Sunday, January 4th, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

We are playing Arsenal Victoria, so everyone should be salivating.

Happy New Year!

Who Are Those Guys (and Gals)?

Here is the DPR team photo from 2005.

Remaining Schedule Posted

We can finally plan our lives more than one week at a time; the schedule for the remainder of session 1 is posted. Our games are as follows:

Sun-Jan 4	Dean Park Rangers	v	Arsenal - Victoria	8:00 AM	Park 1 (far)	Regular
Sun-Jan 11	Otpisani	v	Dean Park Rangers	8:00 AM	Park 1 (far)	Friendly
Sun-Jan 11	Nevada - I	v	Dean Park Rangers	9:00 AM	Park 1 (far)	Friendly
Sun-Jan 25	Dean Park Rangers	v	Natick United	8:00 AM	Park 1 (far)	Postseason

Now, I know you have a few questions. First, what the hell is Otpisani? Aside from a 1974 movie about the careless lives of few Belgrade youths that are shattered when Nazis occupy their town in 1941, driving them to join the resistance movement and having their names placed on the Gestapo's termination list, nobody knows. Second, why is that game on the 11th and the other "friendly" that follows a double-header? Can't we play competitive futsal? Third, why is the regular season only 4 games?

DPR Healthwatch: Carlos's Back is Back

As you know, Carlos bowed out of session 1 futsal due to a bad back. Doctors have determined the cause of his back problems--too much force exerted by his prehensile tail--and have placed him on a path to recovery, hopefully with full resumption of football duties by the end of winter. Stay tuned for more updates.

Season's Greetings!

Happy Holidays to everyone from the blog!

For your visual enjoyment, here is a picture of Dean Park Ranger's official non-denominational winter holiday tree.

If it looks crooked, it isn't. It is just an optical illusion created by the curvature of the the camera lens, which exacerbates the tree's natural scoliosis, which .... Alright, fine! It's crooked, OK!

We're Nice!

Once again, DPR got a perfect 4 fair play points in one match, further solidifying its status as the league's nicest guys. Maybe every team should sign the "nice guy" agreement--including ...ahem... the team that contains a certain league organizer, who ......ahem... made us sign the piece of paper, and whose team, incidentally, has ...ahem... fewer fair play points.

Standings

In case you are the type of person who prefers league standings that don't reward failure and are done the way 99.9% of the world does it, here they are:

	GP	W	L	T	F	GF	GA	GD	PTS
Dean Park Rangers	3	3	0	0	0	23	10	13	9
Carioca FC	4	2	2	0	0	20	16	4	6
Nevada - I	4	2	2	0	0	32	32	0	6
Natick United	4	2	2	0	0	26	32	-6	6
Arsenal - Victoria	3	0	3	0	0	16	27	-11	0

Match Report: Ouch!

Sometimes, you are better off staying in bed. And this was certainly true for the handful of Natick players (not counting Nene) who got up for the standard 8 am DPR kickoff time. Natick lined-up up with only 3 field players players to begin the match, and actually led 1-0 in the first second by scoring on their second touch of the game. They were actually on pace to win the match 80-0.

It took the thin DPR squad--full strength but no subs to start--a few minutes to get into the flow of game and start exploiting the extra man. DPR found the touch, and scored the next 10 or so goals, breaking the spirit of the opposition and apparently the scoreboard, which was only able to show an 8 goal lead and stopped advancing at that point. Led by some nice moves by Mike and Everton, DPR scored most of its goals by simply sliding the ball across the face of goal for an easy tap in. Mike even thundered one in off a corner kick, having been picked out on a nice run through the middle. The ease of scoring was to the liking of DPR's more senior members, Dave and Ilyas, who had a field day, scoring 7 goals between the two of them. Terry arrived before half-time, to refresh the tired legs. (It was the first time that a team almost ran itself into the ground by scoring too much). He also had epic bed-head. We're talkin' Calvin and Hobbes. Charlie, the previous bed-head record holder, could not be reached for comment.

The second half was not remarkable, other than that Paul Jr. made some stellar saves, and some beefy guy who really should count as two players came on for Natick. Even with subs, Natick could not staunch the bleeding. The low moment came when that guy, you know the one I am talking about, scored a goal. Perhaps that is what is meant by small consolation.

[Editor's note: Special commendation should be given to Everton, who drove down from Ayer in what must have been unimaginable driving hell. Just for the heck of it, go to Google maps and type "Ayer, MA."]

Final score:
DPR 15 - 3 Natick United

Team Record: 3-0-0

Next Game:

Sunday, December 21st, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

We are playing Natick United, formerly known as Steve United (see post below).

Steveless Steve United

Dean Park Rangers' beat reporter confirms that Steve of Steve United is no longer with team. Steve, who was reached for comment through Facebook, says that he would like to concentrate on his singing career, and spend more time at home doinking the missus.

Steve United has changed its name to Natick United.

Match Report: Victor/Victoria

The Dean Park Rangers still have that new car smell. Despite having the early edge in possession, DPR found themselves down a goal courtesy of Victor (pictured left). In the past, going down a goal early against the run of play would have been a bad omen. But as the wise-commensurate-with-his-years Dave Batista observed: though younger, this team is more mature. Calm level-headed play and some consistent pressure finally led to decent scoring chances. It took a few pokes at the net before DPR finally broke the seal, and then the goals flowed like wine. Minutes into the second half, DPR had a 4-1 lead. Other than the goal Ilyas scored, this blog can't remember any of the others. (That's just how this blog is. If you want goal credit, you have to post a comment or get your own blog).

Speaking of Ilyas's goals, his first one (that's right, there was another one later) was pretty nice. He came down the middle of the park on a two-on-one with Everton. Although a dish to Everton on the right would have been the high-percentage play, high-percentage is about as exciting as watching someone prepare an actuarial table. Instead, Ilyas faked the pass, dragged it left around the flailing keeper, and calmly rolled a smooth, slow roller to the far post, behind a defender who was scrambling to get to the near post (it was probably a miss-hit).

Now back to the game. The defense held up well, controlling Victor and making the enormously gifted player with more skill in his pinky than most people have in their entire bodies look more like Victoria (now do you get it?). Dave, Dan, Terry, and Mike took turns getting elbowed by Victor in the midsection, and held him to a few scuffed shots and a lot of dives. The shots that did get through were generally tapped aside by Paul Jr., who also contributed to the counterattack with some good distribution and a few forays forward.

Things get more tense towards the end of the game, as Carioca pulled back a goal to make it 4-2 and 5-3. As foreshadowed earlier, though, Ilyas saved the day with a goal to make it 6-3. Smiles all around.

Final score:
DPR 6- 3 Carioca FC

Team Record: 2-0-0

Next Game:

Sunday at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

We are playing Carioca FC, last session's champion, so please be ready to play!

Behold, the Winner!

After a highly irregular election, with shirts arriving while there were still 5 hours left to vote, more votes being cast than voters to cast them, and no clear winner...we have a winner. (Hey, this is America).

Thanks to everyone who voted, even if it didn't actually make a difference.

And the winner is....

Click here tomorrow to find out.

So, what will it be?

Pricing update! The puma shirt can be purchased through Anaconda sports for $25. Does that change anyone's vote?

We're Angels!

Have you ever closed your eyes and tried to imaging what it would be like to get a perfect 4 Fair Play Points (TM) in one game? Well, ponder no more. For the first time since fair play points were awarded, DPR managed to get 4 points in a single match, rather than over the customary 4 matches. The odds were certainly against that, not simply because of the pre-game meeting, which in years past would have resulted in a chair throwing melee, but also because of the typically punitive 8 am start time.

The formula for getting fair play points is apparently simple.

1. Commit no more than one foul.
2. Don't argue the calls (which paradoxically only go more against you the more you argue).
3. Don't swear.
4. Classy goal celebrations.

Match Report: DPR kicks off new season with a win

The new-look Dean Park Rangers opened the new campaign with solid effort and a 14-4 win over the Nevada FC. Everton netted the first goal on a nice individual movement on the left flank and hard shot inside the near post. DPR never looked back. Some solid passing out of the back from Terry, Dan and debutant Mike contributed to a steady attack. Some nice combination play with Everton, Charlie and Ilyas led a steady accumulation of goals and an 8-3 lead at halftime. The second half brought the usual DPR lull and an early goal by Nevada. New keeper Paul Jr., son of original DPR keeper Paul Sr., then put a lid on the goal, aided by the strong tackling of Dan and Mike. This allowed for sustained ball movement that resulted in the next 5 goals going DPR's way. After the match there was a Roberto sighting.

Final score:
DPR 14 - 4 Nevada

Team Record: 1-0-0

New Look Rangers

The 2008-09 Dean Park Rangers have a new look and a new attitude. Maybe it is the addition of new, mellow members Everton, Paul Jr., or Mike. Maybe it is the ill health of Dave and Carlos. Maybe it was the usual case of hangover for Terry, Charlie, Dan or Ilyas. Or maybe it is the exile of DPR legends Rob and Gadi and the forced signing of the league loyalty oath. Whatever the case, there is a renewed air of warm and fuzzy that surrounds the squad. We shall see how long it lasts.