Tournament?

Jan. 13-16, 2011

Compete with the best teams in the Northeast!!!

Venues	Park School, Brookline, Fessenden School, Newton and other locations
Divisions	Boys and Girls, U9 - U18, Men's & Women's Open
Officials	All matches officiated by two, professional, futsal-licensed referees
Fees	$380/team $350 if registered by Dec. 13 Additional $8 per player for non USYF-affiliated players
Format	3 game minimum 48-minute games round-robin style playoffs for top teams Friday night games for local teams only Semifinals/finals on Monday
Awards	Medals and trophies for top two teams Fair Play Awards for one team per division
Qualifier	Champions and finalists receive automatic berths to National Futsal Championships, February 2012
Deadline	Jan. 3, 2011 Teams are guaranteed participation if they register by Dec. 13. After that date registration is subject to availability. Payment must be received in full no later than Jan. 5.

Merry Christmas!

Match Report: Yes, But Offense Still Wins Games

When Edi called to say he had hurt his hand, the immediate reaction was not good. Sure we have a Dave backup, but he has already announced his retirement several times and has not done calisthenics or even bent at the waist in 6 months. He is like Brett Favre minus the pictures of his junk (and I guess the bending at the waist too--how else do you take the pictures?).

Fortunately, it only took several minutes and several goals for Dave to dust off the cobwebs.

The game had an NBA feel to it, with both sides trading goals and not playing much defense. And while DPR scored first and never trailed, it was unable to open a big lead. From the start, Chris made it clear that he would be unstoppable, as he quickly turned defenders and got himself in good shooting positions. Like Justin Bieber, he scored early and often.

Though depleted, the Optometrists were still dangerous. The right-footed dude pretty much decided that he would shoot every time, regardless of angle, distance, or defenders on him. That strategy, at least early on (see above) was working.

DPR kept the pressure on early, but was never able to stretch or even maintain a lead. The match was knotted at half time. It should be noted that I had a hattie by halftime.

The second half saw the fresh legs and attacking versatility of DPR take control of the game. Two of the best goals of the game were off of throws from Dave. On the first, he looked like Tom Brady hitting Wes Welker in stride on a delayed pattern. In this case, Welker was played Chris, who released into space I created when I made an Ochocinco-esque run across the middle. Dave hit the streaking Chris in stride, and Chris calmly slotted it past the keeper.

On the second, Dave pinged a low bouncer towards me and Chris, who were stacked a few feet apart. I was going to take it and began peeling to the left in anticipation. Chris called me off at the last moment, and then peeled to the right. The defense apparently had decided to follow me. This left Chris with yet another easy look.

The goal surge concluded with a nice back heel redirection of a shot headed for the left post, tucking it just inside the right post.

The second half also saw some nice defensive and transitional play. Craig and Jordean settled down our possession and made nice tickling passes out the back. Nick and Dan made simple economical touches in transition.

We also began winning tackles, and unlike the first half, we were able to clear the ball away from danger. Out of spite, Dave made some saves. Perhaps the play of game, though was one of the unlikeliest things you will ever see: I broke up a 3 on 1. That was not a typo. In fact, it may have even been a 4 on 1. We gave the ball away on a counter, leaving me alone to stop the onslaught. Fortunately, the ball was at the feet of their stay-at-home defender, whose first touch was leaden. I launched myself forward to win the ball, perhaps over optimistically, and realized I could only win it by sliding. By luck, I was able to plant my arm on the floor and keep by body off the ground (kind of like a Street Fighter sweep kick, but more accurately like one of the gals to above), thereby avoiding the foul and yellow card that I am certain would have followed. That fulfills my defensive quota for the year. Be warned.


Final Result
DPR 15–11 Otpisini

Team record: 2-1-0

Next Game: Optometrists

Our next game is against Otpisani on Sunday, December 18, at 8:00 am (Park 1).

Let's get up for this game! We know we can beat these guys. We know we can play better than last week. Let's stay positive and focused (and sober, because for the early kickoff)!

Next Game: Waltham Hawks

Our next game is against Waltham Hawks on Sunday, December 11, at 11:00 am (Park 2). The late kick-off time is meant to accommodate the Hawks--all their kick-offs are at 10:30 or later--presumably because of choir practice, Sunday school, or they have to report to their parole officer early on Sunday morning.

Match Report: Off-Target

I can hear Rob now: "you couldn't score in a brothel holding a fistful of fifties!"

That was us Sunday. We had chances from just about every imaginable angle, and about every spot in the paint. The match could have been 10-0 half-way through the first half. Instead, it was knotted at nil-nil, as things became increasingly tense for us, the Arsenal Whatchamacallits, and then the refs. More on that later.

Many of our shots we parried away by the delicate toes of the otherwise not delicate keeper. He was a cross between Kung-Fu Panda and, umm, just a regular panda I guess.

Finally, we gained momentum when Chris slotted one into the bottom corner where twinkle toes could not reach. From that point, DPR cruised out to a 6-0 lead. But this masked tremendous pressure that we let ourselves face, mostly giving up quick counters or giving the ball away in dangerous places. A resurgent Arsenal started catching us off-guard, and began forcing Edi to make some great saves. And, as usual, Edi delivered. Hands. Forearms. Even a great chest save. All the skills were on display.

The attack was lumpy, with some good play followed by some erratic, sloppy, or overly-adventurous plays. I was just about to warn the team about selfish over-dribbling when Nick selfishly over-dribbled, cutting left, and then right, and then back left again and sliding a shot past the ample keeper.

The second half was largely forgettable. The teams traded 2 goals apiece. The lone bright spot a fantastic team goal where we played one or two touch, move the ball to the right flank, squared it back across the middle, and tapped in the easy finish. If I had been paying attention, I could have told you who was involved. Oh well. Another bright spot was Jordean, who began dancing with the ball out the back. However, our movement was minimal at that point, so Jordean was mostly on his own.

It wasn't that anyone played poorly. Dan had one of his usual belted goals. Caley and Craig were solid. It was just that we weren't moving off the ball at all. I hope this was lesson learned.

Now, back to the refs. In case you haven't read it yet, one of the refs is clearly not a real referee. There were some laughable non-calls, including someone tripping me right in box, the keeper swinging his leg at me like it was Ryan Miller's goalie stick, and an obvious shirt-pull about 4 feet from the non-referee's nose that left my jersey dimpled and my undershirt ripped. After the game, I pointed out to the other hobbit-like referee about the non-calls. His response? "He had a good view of each play." Ummm, that's the problem.

Final Result
DPR 8–2 Arsenal Ramsey

Team record: 1-0-0

The Blawg Investigates: Counterfeit Referee

The blog is investigating reports that there is a counterfeit referee working the league. Last Sunday, the alleged impostor refereed a number of morning games, including the DPR match against Arsenal McWhatever.

To the untrained eye, this impostor looks exactly like league referee Ĵoħʼn MċĶęnʼną (shown above at center wearing a black top, next to some dorky dude that looks like Longo...hey wait, that is Longo!).

But there are some key differences. First, the counterfeit ref looks a little different. Although he has managed to capture Ĵoħʼn MċĶęnʼną's likeness down to the smallest detail, he appears to have made one key mistake. Ĵoħʼn MċĶęnʼną wears glasses as seen in his facebook page. This referee does not wear glasses during the match.

Second, the impostor showed that he lacked the referee training. He missed a penalty from about 4 feet away where one player clearly tripped another in the box. He also missed a blatant shirt pull from about 3 feet away. These are mistakes a trained referee would not make.

In a strange twist, after the DPR match, Ĵoħʼn MċĶęnʼną was spotted at the warm gatorade stand. Or was it him? Perhaps the impostor realized his mistake, and put on the glasses hoping nobody would notice.

League officials could not be reached for comment. The blog will keep you posted.

Next Game: Season Opener!!

Our season begins on December 4th at 10:00 am against Arsenal Ramsey (Park 2).

Time for Some Book Learnin' (Final Day)

Ha! The Washington Generals get their revenge:

Time for Some Book Learnin' (Day 6)

One thing that I would like to see us do more is vertical (North-South) rotation between the forward and withdrawn players, rather than simply exchanging the two forward spots (East-West). This video shows some basics on rotation.

I'm starting to feel sorry for the red team, the Washington Generals of futsal.

Time for Some Book Learnin' (Day 5)

Today's video is short and has a pair of somewhat obvious kick-off plays. However, I like it because it shows that we can use Edi on more dead ball situations than we normally use.

Time for Some Book Learnin' (Day 4)

Today's lesson involves the sneaky and deplorable use of substitution to bolster the attack. If someone did this to us, we would be really mad. But since we found the video first, it is totally legit, like our own little Manhattan Project.

Full Session 1 Schedule Posted

The Session 1 schedule has been posted here. Dates to circle are December 11th (Waltham) and December 18th (Optometrists).

Dean Park Rangers FC's Schedule
Sun-Dec 4 | Arsenal Ramsey v Dean Park Rangers FC | 10:00 AM | Park 2
Sun-Dec 11 | Dean Park Rangers FC v Waltham Hawks | 11:00 AM | Park 2
Sun-Dec 18 | Dean Park Rangers FC v Otpisani FC | 8:00 AM | Park 1
Sun-Jan 8 | Hemenway FC v Dean Park Rangers FC | 8:00 AM | Park 2
Sun-Jan 22 | Dean Park Rangers FC v Arsenal Van Persie | 9:30 AM | Park 3

Sneak Peak

As things stand right now, this is what our division will look like:

Arsenal Ramsey (blue/white)
Arsenal Van Persie (blue/white)
Dean Park Rangers FC (red/black)
Hemenway FC (white/black)
Otpisani FC (black/black)
Waltham Hawks (probably red)

Maybe we should change our name to Arsenal Gervinho!

Time for Some Book Learnin' (Day 3)

Here are some basic offensive plays:

Time for Some Book Learnin' (Day 2)

How about some dead-ball situations? Free kicks, goal kicks, and kick-ins.

Waivers

By now, you all have received an email from the "Registration Department" of MA Futsal with a link to a really, really, really simple form that needs to be completed. Even if you have dial-up, it will only take 20 seconds. Do it.

Time for Some Book Learnin'

Starting today, and continuing over the next 7 days, I am posting seven instructional videos on futsal tactics.

The first chapter is pretty basic and you probably will be bored. But what else are you going to do? Seriously.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I would have posted this yesterday....but...I fell asleep.

Match Report: Toast!

The 2011-12 season began, sort of, with a rare preseason friendly. And it was a rare chance for DPR to get into the swing of things before the season started, rather than the customary halfway-through-the-season.

The match was against a decent team, and certainly not one that was going to let us cake walk. From the start, new guys Craig and Jordean showed their value to the team, patiently working the attack from deep in the defensive end until attacking options appeared. There was good ball movement, and good movement off the ball. Transitions were pretty strong too, with some good counters, and Nick, Craig and Jordean jumping into good attacking positions.

The high points included some nice strikes by Dan, who drilled some missiles inside the posts, and Craig, who repeatedly placed tantalizing balls just beyond the keeper's reach. Edi, as usual, made some ridiculous saves, stoning a couple of shots from point blank to prevent things from getting interesting.

Now, if there were any doubts about my defensive abilities, I like to think I put them to rest yesterday with an exclamation point yesterday. Early in the second half, I lost the ball to some dude who someone snuck one past Edi. I then followed that up with a flatfooted toasting where my guy ran 15 yards into a receiving position in the time that I was able to run 1.5 yards. (And it wasn't even a sneaky run; it was telegraphed from the beginning. Like, even the old ladies who were warming to play after us were like: "oh, my, that guy's headed for the far post.") And to couple insult to injury, the play resulted in goal and a hurt keeper. Fittingly, the game literally ended with some dude punting me in the shin.

Final Result (preseason friendly)
DPR 12-5 Bloody Shins*

*All scores are approximate.

Back online

A new season, and time to dust off the old blog.

The new edition of Dean Park Rangers promises to have all what you liked before, and maybe a few extra surprises. Like the Bruins, we return nearly everyone from last year's championship team that came together at the end. But unlike the Bruins, we have added some top shelf talent that should serve to make the team more versatile, more balanced, and more skilled. New guys Craig and Jordean will let us pass our way out of the back and bolster our possession game. Both are excellent footballers, and the slightly new look augers well for the new season.

Stay tuned!

Champions (Finally)!!!!

I only blog now when we win a championship. No trophy, no t-shirt, no blog post.

Match Report:: Damn it feels good!

After years of futility--there is a debate whether we once beat them, or whether we once only tied them--we have finally beaten the Optometrists! And we did when it counted most, when a championship was on the line.

Things started out dire for us this session. We lost Alex for the season, and we had to pull Dave out of retirement. And our poor luck from the first session (missing the playoffs with only one loss) carried over to the first two games, where we lost to our 2 nemeses by a total of 4 goals. Even our first win of the session was a dicey affair, and our prospects for a championship looked iffy.

But then we started gelling. Our movement off the ball and some creative passing gave us a glimpse of how much this team could achieve. Unfortunately, our solid play was against the two weakest teams in the league. Could we do against the best two teams?

The semifinal match answered the first half of that question, as we beat Waltham's Mullet-Malpractice in a gutsy game with only one sub. Now we had to exorcise our demons, and fortunately we had a full squad.

I don't have the words to describe what happened (and I sort just plain don't remember), so I thought I would let Ray Hudson describe the action.

Edi (above) was "cat-like, jungle-like, quick. Big puma. Big, beautiful, brave gladiator goalkeeper." He made some truly spectacular saves, even more incredible because his left elbow was badly banged up. Only 2 goals until mop-up time. "Spartacus, I called him. Mix in a bit of octopus. Beautiful."

Chris (below) was "just like a Turkish bellydancer on a surfboard, skipping through the tulips." He was able to effectively turn through the heart of the Otpisani defense, "trickier than a squirrel running on a telephone wire."

Paul (below) was physically dominant. He was a "matador. Look at him, so languid, look at him walking. He’s like a big, beautiful zombie. He just strolls around languid like, like smoke off a cigarette, you know. And then he jump out and just draw your blood."

Nick was "the magic man with the twinkle toes and the x-ray vision."

Val (top) was "braver than a bull fighter with no knickers on!"

Caley was the usual calming influence in the engine room. He was a "concert pianist, with his feet" and he "could fill the Grand Canyon with his class."

Dan (top) was highly mobile and dangerous with both feet. "I’m telling you man, this kid could be the best thing on two legs since Sophia Loren."

In all, there was some "silky" soccer, and several "orgasmic" finishes. Without Drago, Otpisani "was as dangerous as my grandmother knitting a quilt." That doesn't take away from a great effort by us.

Well done, boys.

Final Result
DPR 8-4 Otpisani
Champions!