Match Report: Off-Target

I can hear Rob now: "you couldn't score in a brothel holding a fistful of fifties!"

That was us Sunday. We had chances from just about every imaginable angle, and about every spot in the paint. The match could have been 10-0 half-way through the first half. Instead, it was knotted at nil-nil, as things became increasingly tense for us, the Arsenal Whatchamacallits, and then the refs. More on that later.

Many of our shots we parried away by the delicate toes of the otherwise not delicate keeper. He was a cross between Kung-Fu Panda and, umm, just a regular panda I guess.

Finally, we gained momentum when Chris slotted one into the bottom corner where twinkle toes could not reach. From that point, DPR cruised out to a 6-0 lead. But this masked tremendous pressure that we let ourselves face, mostly giving up quick counters or giving the ball away in dangerous places. A resurgent Arsenal started catching us off-guard, and began forcing Edi to make some great saves. And, as usual, Edi delivered. Hands. Forearms. Even a great chest save. All the skills were on display.

The attack was lumpy, with some good play followed by some erratic, sloppy, or overly-adventurous plays. I was just about to warn the team about selfish over-dribbling when Nick selfishly over-dribbled, cutting left, and then right, and then back left again and sliding a shot past the ample keeper.

The second half was largely forgettable. The teams traded 2 goals apiece. The lone bright spot a fantastic team goal where we played one or two touch, move the ball to the right flank, squared it back across the middle, and tapped in the easy finish. If I had been paying attention, I could have told you who was involved. Oh well. Another bright spot was Jordean, who began dancing with the ball out the back. However, our movement was minimal at that point, so Jordean was mostly on his own.

It wasn't that anyone played poorly. Dan had one of his usual belted goals. Caley and Craig were solid. It was just that we weren't moving off the ball at all. I hope this was lesson learned.

Now, back to the refs. In case you haven't read it yet, one of the refs is clearly not a real referee. There were some laughable non-calls, including someone tripping me right in box, the keeper swinging his leg at me like it was Ryan Miller's goalie stick, and an obvious shirt-pull about 4 feet from the non-referee's nose that left my jersey dimpled and my undershirt ripped. After the game, I pointed out to the other hobbit-like referee about the non-calls. His response? "He had a good view of each play." Ummm, that's the problem.

Final Result
DPR 8–2 Arsenal Ramsey

Team record: 1-0-0