Next Game: It's Playoff Time

Sunday, March 22th, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

This is where it all counts. DPR won the first session championship, and we want to double it. We are a combined 9-0-1 in competitive matches in '08-'09. Let's go all the way!

Nevada Beat Otpisani

In case you didn't know, Nevada beat Otpisani 8-7 in the final regular season match for both teams. The match's importance was more psychological than actual, as both teams had qualified for the playoffs. Nevertheless, the game had implications for seeding, with first place up for theoretically.

Charlie and I watched the tail-end of the second half, coming in with the match knotted 7-7. From our perch, it was clear that Otpisani's #11, clearly had his head down and his spirits crushed. He was sleepwalking around the court, getting few looks with the ball and no space to turn and shoot.

In the end, Nevada capitalized on a slightly harsh penalty call, which nevertheless was converted to give Nevada the lead and eventual win. The point: Otpisani is beatable.

No Game this Week!

The friendly against Arsenal was canceled.

Adult Action

Generally, I don't concern myself with the other Adult divisions. Let's call it a Live and Let Live policy (or is it Don't Ask, Don't Tell...seriously, if you think about, and get the '90s reference, then it really would be more apt. But anyway, I digest). Today, I decided reverse course and peruse exactly what is going on the ol' Central and South divisions, even though acknowledging made-up geographical divisions make me want to hurl in my parents' urn kind of like that girl Juno did in the movie about Juno called Juno. You should do it too--it is fun (peruse, not hurl).

For example, in the Central, you would find where Natick has been hiding this session. I thought they quit. Nope, they were merely relegated. Also, it is awesome to note that the other Arsenal team went 0-5, meaning that the entire Arsenal family went 0-8-1 this session. That is actually some sort of soccer achievement. The last observation is how low the FP points are in this division. Is this a prison league or something? How does one go about getting into this thing?

Let's go South, shall we, to the land where people read Cat Fancy and download videos of cats playing with balls of yarn on Youtube. Aside from yet another Nevada team, the other teams are all named after some variant of a cat. Seriously, I am not making this up, dude. A cat. There are the Brookline Lions, the Brookline Tigers, the Brookline Jaguars, the Brookline Panthers, and the Brookline Lynx. I propose that we join the South next session with a team called the Brookline Thunder Cats.

Match Report: Best Goal Ever!

I scored the best goal ever.

Final score:

DPR 7 - 6 Carioca

Team record: 3-0-1

(DPR clinches top playoff spot)

Next Game: Carioca

Sunday, March 8th, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

Since there is daylight savings, meaning that we set our clocks ahead on hour, this is equivalent to another 7 am game. What is surprising is that we didn't get another 7 am game, which would have been like starting on Saturday.

Carioca may be victory-less and Victor-less, but I think it would be wise to pound them into submission. You never know when Victor will saunter back from Brazil.

Playoff Scenarios

For those of you curious about the playoffs, DPR has clinched a playoff spot. DPR has a chance to lock-up the top spot, either by beating Carioca by 5 or more goals, or by beating Carioca with a margin greater than or equal to the one that Otpisani beats Nevada. If DPR fails to do both, i.e. Otpisani's winning margin exceeds DPR's (I am not sure of the tie break scenario), than Otpisani can win the group. The only way DPR would finish less than 2nd is if DPR and Optisani lose, which is highly unlikely.

That brings us to where things actually get interesting. Right now, Arsenal are last with no games to play. That means they are a stone at the bottom of the ocean. They have nowhere to go. However, Carioca sits only 4 GD points above them, with one game to play. If DPR beats Carioca by 5 or more goals, Carioca are out, and Arsenal are re-animated and get to play DPR in the first round! If, however, Carioca gives DPR a rough time, i.e. winning, drawing or losing by fewer than 5 goals, then they secure the final playoff spot. However, they would then play either DPR or Otpisani in the first round of the playoffs, depending on the stuff described in the paragraph above.

Confused? Imagine how I feel. Nevertheless, it is ironic that we may play Arsenal again in the first round. I was hoping to have eliminated them, but revenge is a dish best served cold, in back-to-back meals, at the same restaurant.

Match Report: It Never Gets Old!

Do you ever feel sorry for the Yankees? No. No matter how many times Chuck Knoblauch pumped before throwing to first, no matter how many no-name scrubs got trotted out to pitch last year, no matter how many embarrassing A-Rod revelations there are, you NEVER feel sorry for Yankees. They are the evil empire, after all. It is axiomatic therefore that you never tired of beating them, either. There is no pity. No matter how much the Sox dominate the Yankees this millennium, each win feels like a championship victory. The same is true for beating the Habs. Each time the puck goes past a flailing Canadien net minder, it feels like a goal of the year. There is extra joy derived from the little things, each smackdown, each sweet pass, and of course each time the puck is pinged into the net.

So too is there endless pleasure from beating Arsenal. First of all, they call themselves "Arsenal." This is simply ridiculous. It is the equivalent to naming a soccer team in Salt Lake after Real Madrid...okay, bad example. The point is, they begin things by wearing a bulls-eye the size of Ohio. Second, they are the biggest collection of self-indulgent, smug, and whining brats outside of France. Third, they simply suck.

All of these qualities were on display yesterday, from their biggest douche calling me a "fag," to their collective whining about their lack of a "real keeper." This was said, with all due respect to Dave, while our "real keeper" was on the sideline in plain clothes.

As for the match, it started with DPR in the usual situation of no subs. It was even worse, as Paul's sidelining left stand-in John Longo (seriously, that is his name) to start the first half in goal. Things started slowly, as Arsenal actually led for a bit, and the two sides traded goals for the first half. Our first half goals include a nice 2-0 with me and Dan resulting in a Dan tap-in, me dribbling through the whole team and slotting the ball in the far post, and me dribbling around the keeper and ever-so-gently tapping it with my left so that it barely cr0ss the goal line.

The second half saw DPR more focused. What else was different? Hmmmm...oh yeah, we swapped Dave for John in goal. The move paid off, since Dave's tweaked groin had limited his lateral movement. Although he denies it, Dave made some good saves, but more importantly was able to run forward with the ball and lead a renewed counterattack against the Arses. John and Mike started to win possession, and Dan and me buzzed around net finding open shots. I executed what may have been the first double-spatula move in league history. Trade secret rules prohibit me from describing the move.

Final score:

DPR 15 - 9 Arsenal

Team record: 2-0-1