Weekend Entertainment

Here's something to remind us that, deep down inside, each one of us is just an average, everyday, normal guy:

Next Game: Double-Header!

Sunday, January 3rd, at the Park School in Brookline, MA.
Game 1: 7:30 a.m. (Important note: this first game will be in the other gym, up the stairs).
Game 2: 9:00 a.m.

Let's declare ourselves a good team by grabbing 6 points!

Tip of the week: go to bed an hour earlier than you normally do.

Scheduling Change!

Please note the following important schedule change:

We now have an early (I'm not kidding) double-header.

Sun-Jan 3	Dean Park Rangers	v	Natick FC	7:30 AM	Park 3	Regular	Farboodmanesh, Williams
Sun-Jan 3	FC Barosh	v	Dean Park Rangers	9:00 AM	Park 2	Regular	Farboodmanesh, Wilson

Same bat place, same bat time (actually earlier, if you can believe it), same bat referee. Oh wait, that was a typo--I meant bad referee.

All Work and No Play...

Happy Holidays!

No Games Tomorrow!

All games canceled due to snow.

THE PARK SCHOOL IS CLOSED SUNDAY ALL GAMES ARE CANCELED STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER ANNOUNCEMENTS

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Winter Weather Warning!

Those of you who are new to the league should know that it always snows right before our games. Always.

The current forecast predicts heavy snow starting late tonight and early tomorrow, especially for you south-of-95 folks.

So, there are two things you all must do:

(1) Check your email before you go to bed tonight and again when you wake up in the morning. If the games are canceled, the league will send me an email, which I will immediately forward to you. If the notice is close to game time, I will also call or send a text message.

(2) Even if the game is on, please leave extra time for roads that will likely not be plowed very well if at all. Sunday mornings are notorious for crappy road conditions. The twists and turns of Goddard Ave. are especially dangerous. I spun out (literally, a 360°) last year in February. So, to recap. Leave plenty of time. Drive carefully!

Instant Classic: Christmas Time for the Jews

Please Let Me Know!

To the upper right, there is a poll asking you to indicate which (one, both, or none) of the early January games you will be attending. Please let me know as soon as possible what your plans are. Tinkyoo!

Holiday Schedule

The league has posted our schedule for the upcoming holiday period, which is as follows:

Dean Park Rangers's Schedule

Date Home Away Time/Status Venue Game Type Officials Sun-Dec 6 Dean Park Rangers 5 - 4 Berklee Complete Park 1 Regular Farboodmanesh, Macone Sun-Dec 20 Nevada 1 v Dean Park Rangers 8:00 AM Park 1 Regular Farboodmanesh, Forman Sun-Dec 20 Dean Park Rangers v Natick FC 9:30 AM Park 3 Regular Farboodmanesh, Wilson Sun-Jan 3 FC Barosh v Dean Park Rangers 9:00 AM Park 2 Regular Sun-Jan 10 Dean Park Rangers v Otpisani FC 8:30 AM Park 3 Regular

Please note there is no game on December 27th, which for all the gentiles is the Sunday after Christmas.

FC Baroch beats Otpisani

Wow, things are already interesting. Otpisani, whose team members were each selected by their respective high school yearbook committees as "Most Likely to Ethnically Cleanse," lost to FC Baroch. Does this mean there will be a 3-way race?

Mmmmm, 3-way.

This Blog has Worlwide Appeal

Yo, people be clicking from all over Europe!

Next Game: Double-Header!

Sunday, December 20th, at the Park School in Brookline, MA.
Game 1: 8:00 a.m.
Game 2: 9:30 a.m. (Important note: the second game will be in the other gym, up the stairs).

Let's get up for these games, lads!

No Game this Week!

Winter Haiku: "Hey Carlos, Great Game!"

Carlos wanted me to remind everyone that he had a great game. Since I was going to do a winter haiku anyway, I thought I would make Carlos's having a great game the subject of our first haiku.

So here it goes:

Great Game Carlos

Hey Carlos, great game
You really had a great game
Just want to say thanks

Late Entry: Natick

Looks like Natick just joined the league. If nothing else, they make the league more fun. Can't wait to play them.



DISCLAIMER: Before anyone asks, or starts yelling, please note that the above image is totally random and in no way is meant to disparage Natick or black people, or to imply that black people live in Natick. I didn't make the picture, and I don't endorse it or vouch for it or find it amusing. It was the first hit when I did a google images search for "Natick."

Rules is Rules

Since our local futsal rules change every year, I though I would make a simple round-up of the key rules that we need to be aware of. Here we go:

Time: There is no overtime, injury time or stoppage time. Hello, fake injuries.

Substitutions: A substitute may not enter the match until the player leaving the match is at the touchline in the substitution zone. Coaches are asked to have players slap hands at the touchline to ensure that no more than five players are on the court at once. Yup, that's what it says.

Kick-offs: are indirect.

Goal Clearances: Goalkeepers may throw the ball directly across the half-way line. In these leagues, goal clearances are indirect. A ball thrown directly into the opposing goal results in a goal clearance for the opposing team. This is a major rule change that we need to adjust to, both offensively with deep throws, and defensively, by lying deeper on defense to concede the short throw.

Goalkeepers: May not possess the ball for more than four seconds in her own half. This applies even to possession on a back pass.

The "Back-Pass" rule: goalkeepers may only touch/receive the ball once per team possession unless the ball crosses the half-way line, after which time the goalkeeper may touch/receive the ball again. Ok, this is totally different then what they told us on Sunday. We need to clarify before each game what the referee thinks the rule is, and plan accordingly.

Scheduling Update

The pre-Christmas schedule is posted on league site. I have worked it so that there is no game this Sunday. Instead, we have a double-header on December 20th. This will allow Carlos to parade around South Beach in his thong, Mike and Paul to get that much smarter up in Maine, and Charlie and Val to drink like bandits on Saturday at the annual Wassail drink-a-thon in Southie. Free plug: the party starts at 9 p.m. and probably ends when the ambulance arrives.

Dean Park Divas

Hmmm, this would be a good name for our all girls team that Carlos and I have talked about starting.

What's with the Gimp?

Is it me, or do they let anyone ref these days? Seriously, what is the point of having two refs if one of them is pretty much doing nothing but blocking the view of the game and contributing to global warming.

Match Report: Attractive, and Then Really, Really, Ridiculously, Ugly

Dean Park Rangers kicked off the new season today, and if the match was a celebrity couple, the first half was Beyonce (attractive, flowing, with juicy thighs--wait, what are we talking about?) and the second half was Jay-Z (just plain ugly). DPR built a 5-1 halftime lead on some solid defending, consistent offensive pressure, and decent finishing.

Then Val and Charlie arrived, using the ol' "I-though-the-game-was-8:30" excuse, and things went awry. I am not saying the two are related. Just pointing out the chronology.

Anyway, the marking became loose, forcing Dave to make lots of saves and earning him the Man of the Match. Our counters were marred by some bad passes (mostly mine) and missed shots that would have blown the game wide open had we converted even one single, cotton-picking chance. Oh well.

Jeff and Val debuted with solid efforts. Former DP Ranger Nick was back and showed us that he still has some of the old magic. Carlos looked strong in his first game back from assorted injuries since the Johnson Administration. Dan as usual was everywhere. Charlie pulled a Greg Kite (I think literally) getting 5 fouls and 0 points in an 8 minute stretch. Champ, I am kidding, you probably only had 3 fouls, and they were all bad calls.

Anyway, a win is a win. We will play better from here on out.

Final score:

DPR 5 - 4 Berklee

Team record: 1-0-0

Back in Action!

After a long off-season, Dean Park Rangers is back in action!

And with weddings in the air, it is appropriate that this year's squad features something old (Dave and me, but mostly Dave), something new (Jeff and Val), something borrowed (Carlos's "heterosexuality"), and something blue (OK, I admit that I didn't really think this through, so I have no clever way to mention Charlie, Dan, Nick, Paul and Mike...so all I got that is blue is Billy Blanks's super high-waisted jeans...enjoy).

Next Game: It's Playoff Time

Sunday, March 22th, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

This is where it all counts. DPR won the first session championship, and we want to double it. We are a combined 9-0-1 in competitive matches in '08-'09. Let's go all the way!

Nevada Beat Otpisani

In case you didn't know, Nevada beat Otpisani 8-7 in the final regular season match for both teams. The match's importance was more psychological than actual, as both teams had qualified for the playoffs. Nevertheless, the game had implications for seeding, with first place up for theoretically.

Charlie and I watched the tail-end of the second half, coming in with the match knotted 7-7. From our perch, it was clear that Otpisani's #11, clearly had his head down and his spirits crushed. He was sleepwalking around the court, getting few looks with the ball and no space to turn and shoot.

In the end, Nevada capitalized on a slightly harsh penalty call, which nevertheless was converted to give Nevada the lead and eventual win. The point: Otpisani is beatable.

No Game this Week!

The friendly against Arsenal was canceled.

Adult Action

Generally, I don't concern myself with the other Adult divisions. Let's call it a Live and Let Live policy (or is it Don't Ask, Don't Tell...seriously, if you think about, and get the '90s reference, then it really would be more apt. But anyway, I digest). Today, I decided reverse course and peruse exactly what is going on the ol' Central and South divisions, even though acknowledging made-up geographical divisions make me want to hurl in my parents' urn kind of like that girl Juno did in the movie about Juno called Juno. You should do it too--it is fun (peruse, not hurl).

For example, in the Central, you would find where Natick has been hiding this session. I thought they quit. Nope, they were merely relegated. Also, it is awesome to note that the other Arsenal team went 0-5, meaning that the entire Arsenal family went 0-8-1 this session. That is actually some sort of soccer achievement. The last observation is how low the FP points are in this division. Is this a prison league or something? How does one go about getting into this thing?

Let's go South, shall we, to the land where people read Cat Fancy and download videos of cats playing with balls of yarn on Youtube. Aside from yet another Nevada team, the other teams are all named after some variant of a cat. Seriously, I am not making this up, dude. A cat. There are the Brookline Lions, the Brookline Tigers, the Brookline Jaguars, the Brookline Panthers, and the Brookline Lynx. I propose that we join the South next session with a team called the Brookline Thunder Cats.

Match Report: Best Goal Ever!

I scored the best goal ever.

Final score:

DPR 7 - 6 Carioca

Team record: 3-0-1

(DPR clinches top playoff spot)

Next Game: Carioca

Sunday, March 8th, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

Since there is daylight savings, meaning that we set our clocks ahead on hour, this is equivalent to another 7 am game. What is surprising is that we didn't get another 7 am game, which would have been like starting on Saturday.

Carioca may be victory-less and Victor-less, but I think it would be wise to pound them into submission. You never know when Victor will saunter back from Brazil.

Playoff Scenarios

For those of you curious about the playoffs, DPR has clinched a playoff spot. DPR has a chance to lock-up the top spot, either by beating Carioca by 5 or more goals, or by beating Carioca with a margin greater than or equal to the one that Otpisani beats Nevada. If DPR fails to do both, i.e. Otpisani's winning margin exceeds DPR's (I am not sure of the tie break scenario), than Otpisani can win the group. The only way DPR would finish less than 2nd is if DPR and Optisani lose, which is highly unlikely.

That brings us to where things actually get interesting. Right now, Arsenal are last with no games to play. That means they are a stone at the bottom of the ocean. They have nowhere to go. However, Carioca sits only 4 GD points above them, with one game to play. If DPR beats Carioca by 5 or more goals, Carioca are out, and Arsenal are re-animated and get to play DPR in the first round! If, however, Carioca gives DPR a rough time, i.e. winning, drawing or losing by fewer than 5 goals, then they secure the final playoff spot. However, they would then play either DPR or Otpisani in the first round of the playoffs, depending on the stuff described in the paragraph above.

Confused? Imagine how I feel. Nevertheless, it is ironic that we may play Arsenal again in the first round. I was hoping to have eliminated them, but revenge is a dish best served cold, in back-to-back meals, at the same restaurant.

Match Report: It Never Gets Old!

Do you ever feel sorry for the Yankees? No. No matter how many times Chuck Knoblauch pumped before throwing to first, no matter how many no-name scrubs got trotted out to pitch last year, no matter how many embarrassing A-Rod revelations there are, you NEVER feel sorry for Yankees. They are the evil empire, after all. It is axiomatic therefore that you never tired of beating them, either. There is no pity. No matter how much the Sox dominate the Yankees this millennium, each win feels like a championship victory. The same is true for beating the Habs. Each time the puck goes past a flailing Canadien net minder, it feels like a goal of the year. There is extra joy derived from the little things, each smackdown, each sweet pass, and of course each time the puck is pinged into the net.

So too is there endless pleasure from beating Arsenal. First of all, they call themselves "Arsenal." This is simply ridiculous. It is the equivalent to naming a soccer team in Salt Lake after Real Madrid...okay, bad example. The point is, they begin things by wearing a bulls-eye the size of Ohio. Second, they are the biggest collection of self-indulgent, smug, and whining brats outside of France. Third, they simply suck.

All of these qualities were on display yesterday, from their biggest douche calling me a "fag," to their collective whining about their lack of a "real keeper." This was said, with all due respect to Dave, while our "real keeper" was on the sideline in plain clothes.

As for the match, it started with DPR in the usual situation of no subs. It was even worse, as Paul's sidelining left stand-in John Longo (seriously, that is his name) to start the first half in goal. Things started slowly, as Arsenal actually led for a bit, and the two sides traded goals for the first half. Our first half goals include a nice 2-0 with me and Dan resulting in a Dan tap-in, me dribbling through the whole team and slotting the ball in the far post, and me dribbling around the keeper and ever-so-gently tapping it with my left so that it barely cr0ss the goal line.

The second half saw DPR more focused. What else was different? Hmmmm...oh yeah, we swapped Dave for John in goal. The move paid off, since Dave's tweaked groin had limited his lateral movement. Although he denies it, Dave made some good saves, but more importantly was able to run forward with the ball and lead a renewed counterattack against the Arses. John and Mike started to win possession, and Dan and me buzzed around net finding open shots. I executed what may have been the first double-spatula move in league history. Trade secret rules prohibit me from describing the move.

Final score:

DPR 15 - 9 Arsenal

Team record: 2-0-1

We Say "Skedule," Terry Says "Shhhhedule"

The schedule is up for the remainder of the regular season:

Sun-Mar 1	Dean Park Rangers	v	Arsenal - Victoria	7:00 AM	Park 2 (near)	Regular
Sun-Mar 1	Dean Park Rangers	v	Otpisani FC	8:30 AM	Park 3 (upstairs)	Friendly
Sun-Mar 8	Carioca FC	v	Dean Park Rangers	8:00 AM	Park 2 (near)	Regular
Sun-Mar 15	Dean Park Rangers	v	5th place	9:00 AM	Park 2 (near)	Friendly

Note we have two friendlies, one against our old Serbian friends (part of a double-header), and the other against a bottom-dweller to be named later.

Also, note the ridiculous, seriously...ridiculous...start time for the game against Arsenal. I know they don't think they can beat us the normal way. But do they really think that because they practically live there that this is way to go. Memo to file: stop drinking on February 28th at 5 p.m.

No Game this Week!

First place by a nose

With the win over Nevada, DPR has moved into first on goal difference. With two matches to go, DPR controls its own destiny in terms of securing the top playoff spot. Let's keep up the good play.

Match Report: I think I'm Old Now!

Did you ever wonder whether old age would sneak upon you gradually, or whether it would hit you at a single instant in time like a freight train? Well, let me tell you, it hits you all at once. Pictured to the left is what I look like right now. There was little warning. Yesterday I was skiing like Alberto Tomba (remember? slightly tubby...vaguely Euro...); today, I am shuffling around in no particular direction while I wait for the next episode of Matlock. The good news is that a walker gives you more appendages with which to strike a ball.

Now on to the game. Dean Park Rangers took the court against Nevada, marking the first match for Charlie since the Bush Administration. Also seen was Carlos and his missus--soccer royalty who swooped in and swooped out like Beckham and Posh Spice.

The game began with low intensity, but good pressure and spacing allowed DPR to dictate the pace of play. An early corner kick led to a pinpoint strike by me off of the goalie's left hand, then right hand, then again off his left hand, and then I think his shin. Surgical.

Terry and Charlie knifed through the Nevada defense, and peppered the poor keeper with a barrage of shots, including a boot to the back of the head for good measure. Terry's shooting was the best it has been in a while, and Charlie was in top form. The result was a steady accretion (look it up) of goals and a comfortable 5-0 lead. Paul kept the margin safe with some superb saves, and Mike and Dave moved the point of attack well. Paul put an exclamation point on things with a nice low strike to score.

Meanwhile, I hit male menopause. Capable of only 3 seconds of movement before I became a traffic cone, I contributed to the stagnant attacking play that let Nevada get back into the game and trade some goals. I attoned by barely tapping in a nice cross from Charlie who skinned a defender down the left flank.

The second half saw more of the same. Some nice plays by DPR led to some good stretches of attacking play, but overall lack of movement let Nevada sit on loose balls. I scored with my left thigh, which was a personal first. I also drew a penalty, which Terry converted by hitting the ball through the keeper, like one of those old cartoon cannon balls.

DPR finished strong, netting the final few goals to end things at 11-4. The win was solid, but still left room for improvement.

Final score:

DPR 11 - 4 Nevada

Team record: 1-0-1

Next Game:

Sunday, February 15th, at 9:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

Let's get a win and stay in first!

Everyone Loves a Tie!

If a tie is like kissing your sister, then yesterday was like sibling makeout fest along the lines of how I imagine Lovers' Lane in Georgia. Both matches ended in draws, leaving a 4-way tie for first place with a whopping 1 point.

Match Report:: Extinguished!

According to Google translate, Otpisani in Serbian means "extinguished." Appropriately so, as Otpisani has for the second time extinguished a key second half deficit and a DPR streak--first it was the 4-match win streak, and this time it was the 6-competitive-match win streak--by drawing DPR 5-5.

Both teams took the field with lean to non-existent benches. This was standard for DPR, who managed to win both playoff contests with no bench whatsoever. It was unusual, however, for Otpisani, who show up at games like a college football team.

The game had no flow initially, as both teams had trouble finding space. Otpisani play a form of the neutral zone trap, which meant that it took a while for DPR to find the rhythm. Otpisani went up a goal on a lucky one man jail break through three prison guards. A second fluky goal made it 2-0. DPR stayed cool, and responded with 4 consecutive goals in the half.

A fifth goal made it 5-2, and DPR may have experienced a let down. Sloppy play allowed Otpisani to get breakaways, and they converted chances one-by-one to pull even. The story of the game, for both sides, but mainly DPR, was missed opportunity. DPR squandered many shooting chances by shooting into the keeper, inches wide of the post, or sometimes failing to even get a shot off. The most excruciating sequence came with 2 minute to go. Dave found himself about 12 feet out on the left side and clanked a shot off both posts. The rebound came straight to a DPR player on the right flank, who clanked it off the post and out for a kick.

Final score:

DPR 5 - 5 Otpisani

Team record: 0-0-1

Oops, My Bad

It looks like I was wrong, the schedule was posted:

Sun-Feb 8

Dean Park Rangers

v

Otpisani FC

8:00 AM

Park 2 (near)

Regular

Sweeney, WilliamsD

My prediction, however, was right on the money!

Patches are not gay, they are festive!

During his copious free time, Carlos has procured a metric ton of patches to be sown on anything that doesn't move on its own.

This means that all of us can have a patch sewn on the right man-boob of our new kits. Accordingly, you must all give me your soiled shirt after Sunday's game. I will wash them and give them to Carlos's tailor. By the following Sunday, you will have a shirt with a badge. We can discuss on Sunday whether we should also get matching shorts that can have patches sewn on them. From there, the sky is the limit. You can sew a patch on a fleece top, track suit, gym bag, or coin purse.

Tuesday Means Not Tuesday

The Insoccer/MAFutsal website said that " Schedules for Session Two, Week One (Feb 7 & 8) will be online early afternoon Tuesday."

Hmmm. It is now Friday (except in places like Cape Town, Abu Dhabi and Vladivostok, where it is actually Saturday), and yet no schedule is posted.

Prediction: game at 8 am against Carioca or Otpisani.

[See correction above]

Why I am Glad Not to be German

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji6r7J6L2bk

Session 2!

Session 2 starts on February 8th. The next game will probably be posted sometime this week.

Champions!

Congratulations to the Dean Park Rangers, Champions of Session 1 Futsal.

Match Report: Super Sunday!

At around 8 am this morning, Charlie was soundly asleep near Hanover, NH; Terry was brewing some more bedhead; Ilyas was bombing down I-93 just south of Manchester, NH; Everton was injured; Paul and Mike were likely watching cartoons (or whatever it is that young people do these days); and Dan was feasting on cupcakes. Meanwhile, Dave was dutifully showing up at the Park School, even though he knew he would be unable to play. Only problem, kickoff was at 10 am.

Two hours later, Charlie was still sleeping in NH and Everton was still injured. The rest of team, however, limped into the Park School (literally). Upon Dave's return, it was made clear that there would again by no subs.

The stage was set for drama. The 10 am start time meant that there were actual spectators. But with no subs, and some niggling injuries, DPR had it back against the wall. There would be no margin of error. The foe, of course, was Carioca, a dangerous team featuring the always dangerous Victor. DPR had neutralized Victor, and thus Carioca, in the regular season meeting. However, no amount of drinking could erase last year's championship loss to the hands of that team. Back to back finals losses would be humiliating.

DPR started the game out slow, having trouble controlling the flow of the game. Some loose play allowed Carioca to jump out to an early lead, and a superb volley put them up 2-0. At this point, Carioca seemed to relax, and Dean Park seemed to get more focused. Encouraged by DPR's spiritual leader, Dave, who shared the bench with Ilyas's medium cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee, DPR started stringing together some passes and was pressuring Carioca to give the ball away. A foul near the edge of the box gave DPR a golden free kick opportunity. At that distance, a 2-3 man wall is pretty much obligatory. In an effort to be different, Carioca tried the 1-man wall approach. This gave Ilyas half the net to work with, and the ensuing free kick had little choice but to find its way over the keeper to make it 2-1. The rest of the half was a stalemate.

The second half saw DPR's all-around game take center stage. Paul made some ridiculous saves. Mike and Terry showed consistent ability to win tackles and transition to the attack. And Dan, despite an ailing back, thumped in three consecutive pinpoint strikes to give DPR a 4-2 lead. At this point, with no subs, let down seemed inevitable. Despite neutralizing Victor again, Carioca was able to tie the game, opportunistically pouncing on loose balls in the box. Carioca had the chance to take the lead but managed to pound what would have been a simple tap away from the goal (it might actually have gone out for a kick-in). This left the door ajar. An excellent counter attack and some wing to wing passing found Mike with ball behind the keeper and staring at the goal line. Chastened by Carioca's miss, Mike held the ball for what seemed like an eternity before rolling it in for the cup winner.

The game was followed by a actually trophy award ceremony. Courtney brought yummy cupcakes. It truly was a Super Sunday.

Final score:

DPR 5 - 4 Carioca
(DPR wins Championship)

Team record: 6-1-0

Next Game:

Sunday, February 1st, at 10:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

This is the final. This is why we have gotten up so early on Sunday that it is technically still Saturday. This is why Everton has driven a total of 600 miles before the recent collapse in oil prices. C'mon DPR! Let's finish this!

All Hands On Deck!

As predicted, the final is against Carioca. Everyone needs to show up early and be ready to play. Also, check back here on Saturday, as I expect to post a video of the last game against Carioca. Maybe we can watch and learn stuff.

Match Report: Semi Squeeker

With no Everton, no Terry, no Charlie, and no subs, what remained of DPR had to square off against an always dangerous Natick. Specifically, we are talking here about Nene. Natick's offense typically involves about 200 long tosses to Nene, and then a short grappling match as he backs in to the defender. Even though this play works about only 5% of the time, 5% of 2oo is 10 goals. So with that in mind, DPR had to make sure to get its goals, and try to minimize the gift goals.

Despite going down a goal early on, DPR took the lead with some good pressure. Dan in particular was all over the place, and helped get the offense going, even though the chances weren't always finished. A neat square ball by Dan for an easy tap in gave DPR the 2-1 lead. A perfect corner to Dave's noggin resulted in a perfect header into the far upper corner. 3-1. This is where fatigue set in. The lack of subs led to physical and mental breakdowns. Ilyas forgot to cover his man on a long overlapping run. Natick knotted things at 3, and then the teams started trading goals.

The second half had more of the same. Unlucky bounces resulted in counter attacks, with Nene finding himself wide open at times. Paul made a few brilliant saves to keep things under control. DPR found itself leading 7-6 when the dude who likes a miniature Easter Island statute decided to draw a yellow for being a moron. DPR was unable to convert the man advantage. A bad bounce resulted in a quick counter and a strike by Natick to tie things at 6.

Of course, this was a playoff game, so there had to be controversy. Dan found himself at the top of the circle and cutting in towards shooting position. A defender slid into him from behind and took him down. No call. It looked to be in the box too. Nene made up for things by booting a deadball away for another yellow. The half then ended, again with DPR unable to capitalize. Dan's foot was clearly injured, and he seemed barely able to walk. Nevertheless, DPR has prided itself on being a gritty team (except for those really prissy early years).

Overtime began with DPR still a man up for 2.5 minutes. DPR went to the classic 4-corners offense, trying to pull apart the three defenders. The plan worked, as Natick chased to the left, leaving Dave the right flank to lope forward, and casually strike the ball in a manner reminiscent of the hoof-strike in that beer commercial where the horses played football. (See dramatization above. Although no horses were injured in the taking of that picture, I wish I could say the same for Dave on the shot). The ball seemed to defy the law of physics and end up in the net, even though it seemed to go wide.

It was a win, but only barely.

Final Score:

DPR 7 - 6 Natick United
(DPR advances to Final)

Team Record: 5-1-0

Next Game: Friendly

Sunday, January 18th, at 8:00 a.m. at the Park School in Brookline, MA.

We are playing Otpisani, which is not just a bad scrabble hand with an extra tile.

Pianos (8 points)
Paints (8 points)
Points (8 points, ironically)

Can anyone come up with a 59 pointer?

Whatever!

So, the blog sent an email to our friend Jason at Mass Futsal about the scheduling items discussed below. I am copying his response below:

.

Sunday's Double-Header Canceled!

This just in:

The Park School has informed us that it will be closed this Sunday, Jan.
11. Adult games will most likely be rescheduled for one of the following: Jan.
17, Jan. 18, Jan. 19, Jan. 31 or a weeknight as mutually agreed by the
participating teams. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

Jason Miller
Director of Futsal
Massachusetts Futsal

Please see the post below. I don't think it is smart to go 3 weeks between games going into the playoffs. I also don't want to pay for games that we never play. Maybe we can barter the lost games in exchange for getting free entry into the state Tournament. Think about it. Let it marinate.

State Futsal Tournament: Any Interest?

Massachusetts Futsal, in association with Insoccer and Don King Productions, has announced that the Massachusetts State Futsal Tournament will be held on Martin Luther King Day weekend (no relation), most likely either Sunday the 18th or Monday the 19th. Is there any interest?

Before you answer (by voting to the right), please consider the following:

• The team fee is $300 bucks, although perhaps that fee could be lowered. Assuming all 8 of us joined, the fee would be $37 per person
• We would be guaranteed three games minimum (plus semifinals and /or finals)
• There are two 18-minute halves per round-robin game
• There are two 20-minute halves per elimination game
• All games are officiated by licensed FIFA/USSF Futsal referees, whatever that means
  
• Winners and runners-up receive trophies/medals
• Winners and runners-up qualify for national championship tournament, which is usually held in a city with slutty women
  
• Dates: Jan 16/17/18/19 ... Most games will take place on Sun. Jan. 18 and Mon. Jan. 19 in Brookline (some games may be played on Fri or Sat and/or in Concord or Lexington, depending on number or teams/brackets)
• This is the only Futsal tournament in New England sanctioned by FIFA and USSF, whatever that means
  
• The registration deadline is Jan. 11 2009

One final consideration is that this blog had promised its girlfriend a long weekend in ski country. I may get in some serious hot water by playing, but that is my dedication. You always see professional athletes engaged in grueling workouts as proof of their dedication. Not once, though, do you see any of these guys getting chewed out by the missus for playing. I'm sorry Kevin Garnett. I don't care how many curls you do in the off-season. Do you need to beg for permission to play in the NBA All-Star Game? I don't think so. Call me when you have to sleep on the couch.

Match Report: 4s Are Wild!

Dean Park Rangers played its 4th competitive match of the season, and for the 4th time earned the maximum 4 points for the victory. It was also the 4th time that DPR held the opponent under 4 goals. The win was accompanied by another 4 fair play points. Did I mention that the game was played on January 4th?

Although the game was meaningless, with DPR assured the top spot entering the playoffs, and Arsenal the basement, both teams found plenty to play for. For Arsenal, it was pride or something. For DPR, it was the pursuit of perfection and a traditional roast of some old friends that would make even Don Rickles proud.

DPR rushed out to a 5 - 0 lead without too much effort and held an 8 - 1 edge before losing steam and trading goals. The lead was padded by nice strikes by Terry, Everton, Dan, Mike and Dave (editor: "is this correct? It says 'Dave'!"; fact checker: "yes"). Towards the end of the match, things got edgier, with plenty of fouling, grabbing, and inartful play. One of the few highlights was Ilyas getting on the end of a long lob pass and flicking it over the keeper's head into the upper right corner for a classy finish.

Final score:
DPR 10 - 3 Arsenal Victoria

Team Record: 4-0-0